Is a Chinese Wife right for you?
So you want a Chinese wife. Why?
Don't get me wrong, this is a great decision for many men, but is it right for you?
First and foremost you should toss away most of the rumors you grew up with. Those misperceptions of Chinese women just won’t help you find the right answer. Secondly, keep in mind that we are discussing an entire race of people and of course there are exceptions to every rule. Last but not least, accept that your success or failure will have to do more with your actions rather than those of any Chinese you meet.
Do Chinese women normally marry men 20 or 30 years older than them?
This is an interesting question with an answer that will surprise some readers. Statistically, Western men who venture out of our home country to seek a wife in the Chinas are above the age of 35. What makes them more desirable is that they are settled; they have a better than average income, a college education and most have been divorced once and are seeking a stable lasting life-long relationship. In fact, it’s often suggested that asians actually prefer husbands who are many years their senior, because such men are perceived as more mature, less promiscuous, and financially stable.
Is it true that asians possess a mysterious tribal lust that makes them bedroom dynamos?
The conflict here is obvious. Many western men in pursuit of a Chinese wife place a high regard on their future wife’s sexual innocence, yet are unwilling to accept the limitations that such virtue implies. Movies and war stories of the Chinese Geisha have formed the notion that Chinese women have nothing else on their mind other than to please a man. Well, here’s the news: these stories are not indicative of Chinese women. Each and every Chinese you may meet is a woman, each with their own special quirks, preferences and personality and to generalize would be a huge mistake.
In reality many asians have advanced degrees of education and professional lives. It could hardly be presumed that their only purpose in life is to fulfill some man's wildest dreams. What the Chinas does have is a huge emphasis on family and a successful marriage. A Chinese wife will be dedicated to this.
How are you with large families?
To the Chinese , family will always remain a great priority; and not just a family, but a large extended family. Many Chinese still live in the extended family structure of 2 or 3 generations living under the same roof. Great respect for family elders is taught at an early age and in fact your eligibility as a perspective spouse may depend on your acceptance by her family.
And again – how are you with large families? And more specifically how many children do you want to have? Because Chinese women want big families with many children. It is like the culmination of everything they have been taught that provokes these maternal instincts. The desire to have children and family of their own is almost universal in the Chinas.
Are you religious?
There are three primary religions in the Chinas: 83% Roman Catholic, 9% Protestant and 5% Muslim. The odds are that she's more devoted to her religion than you are to yours, so be prepared for some soul-searching on this matter.
Are you marrying a Chinese because you pretty much hate the women of your own country?
You have to realize that hating an entire gender, even within the confines of a single country, just isn't reasonable. It's one thing to say that you believe that you'll have a greater chance of finding the woman you want in the Chinas, but it's quite another to say that all the woman from your own homeland are unworthy of marriage. If you're marrying a Chinese , it should be because of who she is, not who she is not.
And after all, a Chinese woman is still a woman, including all the variety of types of personality that that encompasses!
Are you a generous person?
The common spirit of survival has united the Chinese for centuries and they are very generous to each other. Ancient folklore of the Chinas and the China adaptation of Christian holidays often eulogize the rewards of the generous spirit. Now where Western society has great difficulty with this Chinese spirit of generosity is in the subject of remitting money to the Chinas.
Don’t get me wrong, I am most certainly NOT advocating you send money to any Chinese girl you meet over the internet. But should you be engaged to or married to a Chinese , you should be prepared to provide financial assistance to your new, extended family when they need it (for schooling, medical care, or food). If you are reluctant to accept your new wife's family as your own, your lack of generosity would certainly create some turmoil in your relationship.
You will intuitively know when you share your wife or fiance's family obligations and once having visited the Chinas you will fully understand the reasons this occurs.
So you still want a Chinese wife?
The best way to meet a Chinese is through another Chinese . Do you know any? If so, odds are she knows a Chinese girl in the Chinas who is open to foreign relationships. If you don't know any asians, your next best bet is obviously a dating service. Choose a respectable one like that offers free trials and start writing - not just to one girl, but several – in search of your best match. And here you are on your way. Hope this is of help to you. Good luck!